How to get a date worth keeping is a paradox that befuddles both sexes. Many people have had horrible experiences with dating. Others have been in long term relationships to find out that their partner has been a creep for the entire time. A problem most people encounter, however, is that of settling. Settling involves meeting someone who you get along with but who does not stir you deep down. You fall in love with this person, you get into a routine, and in the end you come to be complacent, feeling comfortable with the routine while not being in love with the person. You could call this the “room-mate scenario.”
How do you avoid this type of involvement, and moreover, how do you find that person who drives you wild, loves you unconditionally, and who you can’t get enough of? For starters, you need to think of a list of things that you know you want, and things that you know you don’t want. Do want a partner who knows how to cook? Dating a guy who was living in mommy’s basement and has a part time job delivering pizzas is probably not the guy for you. Do you want someone who likes to have involved conversations about books? Probably should dump that sorority girl you ended up with at a party because you both were tanked. Not to stereotype, but it is a general rule of thumb that settling for people who can stand you, and whom you can stand, is not the formula for a long lasting, solid relationship.
You can’t build a relationship on a rocky foundation. What this means is that honesty is important, both in the conception of yourself that you give off as well as being honest with yourself. Lots of guys fall into the machismo trap and think they need to be overly manly because that’s what women like. For the most part, that is what turns women off. Don’t fall prey to what you think other people want from you, as this is a surefire way to sabotage your relationship in the long-term. The most important part of finding someone else is knowing yourself. This involves being okay with who you are, and thinking about the things you like and the places you see yourself. If you are unhappy with you weight, quite eating chips and hit the gym. If you are generally socially nervous, get over yourself and talk to people. It’s easier said than done, but personal flaws need conscious attention and energy.
Probably the second most important part of keeping a lover for the long term is compromise. Compromise exists in all things (if you want to stay thin, you can’t eat two pieces of cake, you compromise on eating one piece) and it follows that people who don’t give as much as they get in their relationships are generally bad partners because of their selfishness. Guys often don’t realize that they can’t sit on the couch and watch tv all day in their underwear, and likewise women often fail to see that guys could care less about the wallpaper in the baby’s room. Being open with your partner about what you like and dislike can alleviate these problems. And sometimes, just maybe, guys will get to lay around all day, and the women will get some male feedback on the color pattern of the wallpaper.